Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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