Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its liver damage thursday
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