just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
