Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
