and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish I only lived at night.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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