its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
