He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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