Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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