Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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