member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
