She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
