Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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