is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize