Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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