i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
