what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The best revenge is premature balding
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
