I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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