he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
