theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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