Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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