OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
