why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
