so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
