96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize