so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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