ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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