My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
