He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
