What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
