Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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