The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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