Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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