So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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