Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
