I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Randomize
