You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
