onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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