Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Randomize
