i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
