It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
