thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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