He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
