Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i think my cat just said my name.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
