I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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