We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it hurts more in the daytime
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize