dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
