You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
