No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
