Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
