Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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