He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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