Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
