I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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