he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
