Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
