I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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