woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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