Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
