seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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