i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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