FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
